This is my life worth writing about.
Have
you ever wondered why you're being punished for trying to be good?
Why really hard things keep happening to you?
Have you ever asked “Where are you God?”
Ever felt like God isn't good?
Felt your faith slipping away?
Wondered if God was really directing you or if you're simply crazy?
Marriage isn’t what it was cracked up to be?
Motherhood different than what you expected?
Have you ever wondered if it’s all just a lie?
Cause yeah, me too.
Seriously, I have legitimately wondered if God put a giant kick me sign on my back.
Why do so many seem to float through life? I’m over here feeling like I'm at sea in a storm just trying to keep my boat from smashing to bits as we rise and fall tossed by twenty foot waves.
Yeah, I feel that.
I went to college at BYU. Served a volunteer church service mission in Portland, Oregon. Came home and got married three months later & we (intentionally, prayerfully, and faithfully) chose to become parents. Our son was born nine months later.
I felt like I had tried my hardest to put God first in every major life decision I made and completely buried my will in His.
So when our baby began having prolonged, drug-resistant seizures at three months old, I was devastated, angry, and confused. By his first birthday, he had suffered over a hundred seizures and was finally diagnosed with a rare genetic mutation called Dravet Syndrome— a lifelong and progressively debilitating type of incurable epilepsy.
Everyone around me seemed to be having these wonderful experiences with motherhood and perfectly healthy babies, and I was living in a nightmare between of daily seizures and hospital admissions.
And I had tried to so hard to be righteous!
Yet, things continued to get worse. Six weeks after his diagnosis, our second child, a beautiful, healthy baby girl was born. But tragedy struck again when she unexpectedly passed away at just seven months old.
They say lightning doesn’t strike the same place twice— but it had.
I was shocked. Completely blindsided. The grief was so heavy and so dark waking up each morning honestly surprised me. It amazed me that my heart continued to beat when it felt like part of my soul was dead.
The night she died I rocked back and forth, sobbing, repeating—
Why me?
Why is God taking both of my babies?
Why is this happening when I’ve given up so much to follow Christ?
Where was our miracle?
I still don’t have answers for that, but I know so much more now than I did then. I know about grief. I know about loss. I know how dark death is and how devastating a diagnosis can be. But most importantly, I know about Jesus Christ. He is my light through storm and sunshine.
Some days I walk with God and others I wrestle with God. My life has been turned upside down and hit hard with wave after wave of trials, but I still believe in divine design. And I still believe that God loves me. Losing a baby and struggling to care for a child with severe medical needs has filled my heart with gratitude for the compassion of others who have comforted and helped me along my grief journey. We can do SO MUCH for others who are grieving.
I blog about faith and motherhood & I don’t shy away from writing about the hard stuff. I still struggle to understand why God lets these things happen, but I know that this is my faith journey, and this is my life worth writing about.
I write & create faith-inspiring jewelry and stickers that are minimal, meaningful, and made to last to help you remember God’s promises in your storm.
You’ll find that I’m a genuinely happy person. I tackle life with faith, authenticity, and a healthy dose of humor. I seek joy and crave meaning in all I do. I love to talk about Jesus Christ and connect to others as we share stories of faith, hope, loss, and love. Shop my designs and send me your stories! I hope you find the find the perfect piece to illuminate your soul.
Wishing you love and LIGHT,
Keira
The Soluminated Story
My favorite scriptures have one thing in common-- they all have to do with light.
After my son was diagnosed with a rare type of epilepsy (Dravet Syndrome) after having 130+ seizures in his first year of life and my baby girl passed away unexpectedly at 7 months old less than a year after his diagnosis, I felt like my world had shattered. My faith was paper thin and I honestly thought the darkness and grief I felt would crush me.
I was drawn to scripture verses that talked about light. Alma chapter 5 talks about how the light of the word (the scriptures) had the power to illuminate and dispel darkness.
“…in the midst of darkness …their souls were illuminated by the light of the everlasting word…”
I loved that and have clung to the promises God has given about being a "light in the wilderness."
So I started creating gold-filled, hand-stamped jewelry with the hope that it would "illuminate" souls and give others something minimal, meaningful, and tangible to hold to in the storms of life. I hoped it would remind others of God's presence, power, and promises-- and that He truly is the light in the darkness. My biggest hope is that my jewelry will be shared with those who are walking in a season of grief and darkness.
I know that Christ is the light and that that He is with us in sunshine and storm.
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