4 Things I’ve learned about Satan
“Feels weird to say, but I’ve never felt Satan’s presence so fully in my life. …When I hit my lowest, he showed up the strongest….”
Joy in Mourning
In my times of bitter grief I’ve often questioned why they called Gods plan “The Plan of Happiness” because my personal experience is that it is infinitely more painful and miserable than happy— but what I’m learning
Luck of the Irish
A friend texted me a few weeks after my baby passed away asking how I was holding up. I snapped this pic (no makeup, eyes perma-puffed shut from lack of sleep and crying) and sent it to her with the text "idk why but I find wearing…
Written in the stars, storms, or soil?
“Is it written in the stars? Are we paying for some crime? Is this all that we are good for— just a stretch of mortal time? Or some God’s experiment in which we have no say, in which we’re given paradise, but only for a day?
Where are you God?
…The complete wreckage of the last three years of my life flashed in my mind— Payson's 200+ seizures, his Dravet diagnosis, Kalea's unexpected death, the overwhelming grief, our rocky marriage. I coldly replied “Maybe I could use a little less blessings from the Lord right now.”
Out of the Abyss
We are gradually climbing out of the abyss.
Yesterday was David's birthday.
Without thinking, I asked David what his favorite part of last year had been. The moment I said it-- I regretted it. David's eyes immediately misted over…
His Hands Make Whole
… There I was in the middle of my aftershocks, coping with grief, struggling with loss, and feeling like the very foundation of my marriage was cracking underneath my feet. And then I see this picture of my family…
Expired Blessings & Payson’s Seizure
ONE MONTH AGO TODAY I was riding in the back of an ambulance dressed in my husbands clothes-- a pair of sweatpants at least four sizes too big for me and the first shirt of his that I happened to grab off the shelf. I had no makeup on…